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User blog:Dinosaurus1/Everything wrong with CinemaSins' JW:FK video: In my opinion.
Okay, so you might be wondering why I would write a blog. I would like to make something clear; this is a blog that was written by me just for fun that politely disagrees with a video that criticized JW:FK that is made by a YouTuber named CinemaSins. From this point, you can take whatever I say in the following except for the Note section as criticisms of CinemaSins' video with jokes and humorous dialogue. Animalman57: Also, I'm collaborating with Dinosaurus1, mainly for the same reasons. Mine might be a bit more critical of his sins, but ya know, why not added a few jokes to my points as well? These clowns seem not to realize that their points are unjustified or just plain wrong. *''Note: This is just a blog that criticizes a YouTuber named CinemaSins' blog since he is wrong with some things in JW:FK (which I loved and I believe has some good in it, by the way) and he went a little too hard on the film, but I will do it in a humorous way just to keep it friendly. I just had a deep dislike for CinemaSins' JW:FK video, so I did this blog to release all this dislike in me, even though I will keep it friendly and civil. For those of you who shared my dislike for CinemaSins' video, don't worry; I got your back. Now let's begin.'' Description "This freaking movie. This movie is infuriating. Unless all you want are dinosaurs roaring and a whole bunch of action baloney and recycled moments from better films in the franchise. Here are all the sins we found in Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom." Only this film is not about dinosaurs roaring or action or moments from previous films. Nope, there is a lot more to this film, like animal rights and consequences of genetic cloning. You're just severely underestimating it, as well as making sins yourself... which is why I am here to criticize your video just like this video "roasted" my beloved movie. Lets begin. +1 Animalman57: I counted more novel references than film references but whateves. The books don't matter to you twats, right?! +1 ' '''Animalman57: Also, as the last time we are coming to Isla Nublar and it being the same year as the 25th anniversary of the first film, it makes sense to add these callbacks. +1 ' In-video 1. "Comcast." Comcast :). Also, this video exists. +1 '''Animalman57: What's so wrong with Comcast? +1 2. "47 seconds of logos!" 10 seconds just for your video to get to the first legit "sin". +1 Animalman57: Also, who in the Cinemansins cast decided that logos should be a sin? I get it's mainly the length of the logos that pisses you off, but in other videos, it seems to be more of that logos are just a thing. If anything, the real sin should be that in most films, they say what studios they helped with twice in a row, making it redundant. +1 ''' 3. "No lie, James Cameron saw the first three minutes of this film and had to excuse himself to change out of his premature ejaculation jeans." Only he had to, not in you referencing that he hated the film when he just began watching it, which is flat out wrong. Also, he could have gone before the film started, but the fact that he didn't is weird if you ask me. +1 '''Animalman57: Also, what does this have to do with the film?! I've got the answer: NOT AT ALL! +1 4. "Why is this guy even startled here? They left the island completely unattended, right? Doesn't it stand to reason that it would be OVERRUN with dinosaurs by now?!?!?" The island is overrun by dinosaurs, which is why good old Jack the mercenary here is startled; because he is afraid something might attack him. +1 Animalman57: That's like saying you shouldn't be scared of a bear just cause you expect one in the forest. +1 5. "Ha ha ha ha, why are they BACKING out of the site instead of turning around?" They are turning around; you just have to look more closely at the submarine before it was destroyed by the Mosasaurus. Two sins for incorrectly assuming. +2 6. "Um... Marine One is the name of the helicopter that flies the president to and fro. Not whatever underwater craft you're talking about here." Only they are referring to the submarine named Marine One, not that helicopter which flies the president. +1 7. “Well, considering you’re squarely in a park that, at last check, contained a T. rex, I’m gonna guess this is the Smoke Monster from Lost.” Only it’s not the Smoke Monster from Lost, is it? Plus these mercenaries, at the time before they warned Jack, had no idea what the creature (the T. rex) was. +1 Animalman57: Also, this park had more than just T. rex, remember? It could've been an Apatosaur or a Brachiosaur or even a Suchomimus, based on what we know was on the island at the time. I understand this sin is meant to be a joke, but A. it relies on the fact that T. rex should be the only large dino in the park, which isn't true at all and B. even if it was true, it's just an unfunny pop culture reference. +1 8. “This movie should’ve been called Scream 2: Scream Harder.” Then why was it called “Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom”? Or maybe there were people screaming at least once in every previous movie, so they do not need to be called “Scream” movies. Also, this is the 5th entry of the JP Film Series, so “Scream 2” doesn’t apply here. +1 Animalman57: Two unfunny pop culture references in a row?! Oh, joy. +1 9. “Given the fact we don't even know these assholes, aren't we honestly rooting for the T. rex here?“ Only we were starting to like these mercenaries because they were rooting for their friend who is on the verge of the jaws of the T. rex, leading to them being relatable. +1 Animalman57: (reference to a Geico commercial) That's not how it works. That's not how any of this works. +1 10. “Premature celebration.“ These mercenaries had no idea the Mosasaurus was coming. +1 Animalman57: To quote Th3 Birdman: Jeremy points things out on the screen cliche. +1 11. “Wait, the Mosasaurus bit off the ladder and the guy, but had no impact on the helicopter itself? And not only that, but these guys are just staring instead of getting the hell out of there?!?!" The Mosasaurus did have an impact on the helicopter; if you were looking at it, it was temporarily slightly moving out of control before gaining control again. Just like with Marine One, you have to pay more attention. Also, these mercenaries had nowhere to go since there was little room in the helicopter. +3 Animalman57: Why are you still pronouncing it Moss-a-saurus? I understand that since you know jack about prehistoric life, you never heard of a Mosasaurus until Jurassic World, but in the film, they told you how to say it right during the show, so where are you getting this pronunciation from?! You get 5 sins for this mispronunciation. +5 ''' '''Animalman57: Also, they are already "getting the hell out of there" by flying away. What the hell else do you want them to do?! +1 12. "Shoot, I haven't seen CGI fire this impressive since 1997's Spawn." Well then, would you remove a sin if that were the case? If the CGI in this shot is this impressive, alongside all the other CGI in this film, would you at least remove a sin? But no. You just had to sin it because you "hate" this film, claiming how "dumb" it is when this film, in actuality, is far from the level of "dumb" you are describing. +1 Animalman57: Now, in my opinion, the logo's CGI IS crap, but considering how good the CGI in the rest of the film is, I think this was intentional cause, a logo's CGI doesn't need to that good since it's the logo. +1 13. "Newsposition? Journarration?" No, it's a news report. +1 Animalman57: You know, I like a good pun or even a bad pun every now and again, but these aren't even proper puns. They are just mashed words together. +1 14. "If there's a news organization monitoring this island so closely, why didn't anyone notice the main gate is wide open?" It's because this news organization is focusing on Mount Sibo, which is erupting, not the main gate. Would you rather focus your camera on an erupting volcano or an open lagoon gate? +1 15. "Does the U.S. Senate have any jurisdisction here though? Isla Nublar is right next to Costa Rica, and I don't think it has any American ties. Regardless, shouldn't this be a pretty international decision?" Well, the U.S. and Costa Rican governments have partnered with each other before, on banning all travel to Isla Sorna in The Lost World: Jurassic Park. So it is likely they may do it again for this issue of Mount Sibo erupting. As for this being an international decision, I honestly don't think it should be. +1 16. "No (Sin). Yep (Sin)." Okay, you didn't really have to include two sins, one after your "No" and the other after your "Yep". Also, you could have just included this two word sentence as all in one sin, but due to how much you "hate" this film, you just want to give it as many sins as possible, which sounds dumb. Also, I don't mind if you disagree in that InGen's dinosaurs deserve to live, this I'm fine with because everyone is entitled to their opinion, but you didn't have to shun the dinosaurs this hard; why not make a reasonable thought of it? +1 17. "True story, the Dinosaur Protection Group was the original name of the band Dinosaur Jr. After they shortened it to DPG, then went back to the full name for two years with a new drummer, then changed the name to Jefferson Dinosaur, then Dinosaur Starship, then ultimately... and finally... Dinosaur Jr." And what does this have to do with the movie? Nothing. Nothing at all. This is the same thing as that James Cameron and pants sin from earlier. You get two sins for repeating. +2 Animalman57: Also, that nonsense isn't even true. +1 18. "I am legit offended this movie is trying to make the "let the dinos live" side something I feel empathy for. EFF DINOSAURS!!! THEY WENT EXTINCT FOR A REASON, FOOLS!" Whoa, wait a minute, hold up. "Legit offended"? PFFFT. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, you are "legit offended"? Wow, that is hilarious. You get 50 sins for saying that. Learn how to grow up and just say you disagree. Also, the dinosaurs went extinct just because an asteroid wiped them off the planet. +50 Animalman57: The "reason" is that they couldn't adept to the changing climates caused by the asteroid that hit the Yucatán Peninsula 66 million years ago. That's it. Or is this just a poor reference to Ian Malcolm's line where he said "Dinosaurs had their shot and nature selected them for extinction"?. Either way, you get 4 sins! +4 19. "This works." Did you seriously expect that Congresswoman to say no? Claire convinced her on saving the dinosaurs by bringing up if the congresswoman had any kids that liked dinosaurs. She felt motivated, and she felt like agreeing with Claire. +1 20. "Also, after receiving support from the Congresswoman, Claire IMMEDIATELY terminates this call." Because it was no longer necessary. +1 21. "Also... DINOSAURS WOULD KILL ALL OF THE HUMAN VERY QUICKLY!! But I realize logic is not involved in these proceedings... like most Congressional proceedings, I've noticed." First off, you saying dinosaurs would kill all of the humans very quickly (in like a year or two) is like saying gravity does not exist. We have such advanced weapons that they would kill all of the dinosaurs very quickly (sad, but true). Also, logic IS involved in these proceedings. Two sins for two dumb, nonsense points. +2 Animalman57: After all, these are just animals, not movie monsters like Xenomorphs. +1 Animalman57: Also, it's not like they are like "Hmm...the volcano is blowing up. I know, let's bring them all here!" The only reason they are on the mainland at the end of the movie is cause of the DPG being tricked and them bringing the dinos to Lockwood Manor for an auction. +2 22. "Roll credits... please?!?!?!" No. +1 23. "Discount Cerebro." And how is Eli Mills anything like "Cerebro"? +1 24. "'Movie hero is living off the grid in an RV while building something' cliche." 'Cinemasins points things out' cliche. +1 25. "Why do all of these Jurassic movies have to open with someone being talked into going to a dinosaur island?! Or back to one?! Is it because they only have the one story to tell and they just keep on finding slightly new variations for it?" Because that's how these Jurassic Park/World movies work; it's called "formula". Also, I didn't find anything like this in the opening of Jurassic World, where Karen and Scott deliberately sent their sons to the Jurassic World park. +1 Animalman57: Well, wouldn't you need convincing to go back to a place full of predators, most of which that tried to kill you?! Also, in the first film, do you think Grant and Sattler would've believed Hammond if he just said "Come to my park, it's got living, breathing dinosaurs in it!" I would need convincing for that, as long as they meant living non-avian dinosaurs, anyway. +1 26. "Man, they ALSO can't have a Jurassic World film without these two bickering over their previous off-screen relationship." This is literally the second JW film. Why are you treating it as if it was the fifth or sixth JW film? +1 27. "Why does she make the American Dream sound like a bad thing?!" Claire is not, she's arguing that she shouldn't let these dinosaurs go extinct. Also, being in a cabin while drinking beer and playing pool all day is not exactly everything about the American Dream. +1 28. "Movie should be over right here. Done-zo. Finito. Logic wins! USA! USA!" I just get annoyed at how you do not consider Claire's viewpoint. In fact, there are people out there that agree with Claire. This is not negotiable. To them, saving these dinosaurs is logic, but you just throw that right out the window and assume that your opinion is the greater one. I'm beginning to think that you hate this film very much just because it disagrees with you in that dinosaurs should be saved. +1 29. "Okay, but this isn't really a fortune. Shouldn't the joke be 'greeting cards'? Is it too much to ask the writers to be less than narcoleptic when they typed this dialogue?" The writers were not narcoleptic, because I see a whole lot of action and dedicated effortful scenes in this film. Owen said this because he just said this. +1 Animalman57: Also, I have never seen any greeting cards with that kind of mesage, but I've seen forture cookies with this type of wording. They knew what they were doing when they wrote this joke, YOU are the one who was narcoleptic when you wrote it. +1 30. "Oh yeah? Tell that to ----- not approved" Oh, I wonder what that means. +1 31. "SKIP!" Aaaaand you just had to skip some decent dialogue that is not the "action baloney" you disliked from the film; it had dialogue about Maisie and Lockwood. 5 sins for you. +5 32. "Movie thinks we're still jaw-dropped in awe at these same cliffs and waterfalls for the fifth time. And we are not. Trim the runtime by dialing down the majesty of a place I've been to several times and wasn't REALLY asking to go back to, if I'm being honest." Well, you're not jaw-dropped in awe at these magnificent cliffs, but some people are. +1 Animalman57: Also, this isn't even the fifth time we've seen these cliffs. This is the third. Forget 'bout Isla Sorna in Lost World and JP3? Lost World didn't really show any cliffs cause the film was all in Redwood and other Californian spots without large green cliffs! JP3 had large green cliffs but all of them were CGI, and most of the film that wasn't CGI was filmed in a studio. +3 33. "Okay look, it's possible the remaining dinosaurs did some damage to the facilities after the island was abandoned. But the movie's making everything look like it's been AGES since anyone was here, and it's only been three years." Well, you do have that pterosaur attack, the I. rex vs. Raptor Squad with Robertarexy with Mosasaurus, and plant growth on the abandoned buildings. And that claim can be more justified by saying there were the remaining dinosaurs damaging some of the buildings offscreen. Plus, three years means a lot of plant growth, just so you know. It is possible. +1 34. "These flying 'dinos' remind me that there are some dinos that can fly, and at least SOME of them would've bounced from Danger Island as soon as the volcano started rumbling. Sure, Costa Rica is 120 miles away, but there are plenty of avian creatures that can make that trip without breaking a sweat. It's true! I Googled it and everything!" First off, these "flying dinos" are pterosaurs, which are not dinosaurs at all. Second of all, there are some dinosaurs that can glide, but we don't know if any of them are cloned. There's Pteranodon and Dimorphodon, but they wouldn't just fly off the island because it is their feeding and nesting grounds. Third of all, just because those avian creatures can make a long journey, doesn't mean that these pterosaurs can do the same. It would be better for you to have said they would have flown off to Isla Sorna. Three sins for you. +3 35. "This is clearly some kind of homage, I suppose. But... in this context it doesn't make any sense. The first movie had something large in the mirror, creating the visual part of the gag. Here, it's just... Owen." There does not need to be a large thing in front of the car mirror for it to create the visual part of the gag. This was meant to be set up as suspense, as literally anything could have jumped out of the bushes and ate Owen. +1 36. "I'd remove 500 sins if Blue ate him right here." Only Blue wouldn't eat Owen, as you may have seen camera footage of Owen playing with his baby raptors (Blue being one of them). Owen stated that she was more empathetic than the other raptors, leading her to be kind only to Owen. So, if you have not said that, I would not have given you 100 sins. +100 Animalman57: Blue is smart, as said in the film, so while she's acting aggressive, she remembers him. She wouldn't eat him unless Owen triggered her defensive or hunting instincts, but Owen knows what he's doing. Even predators in life that were raised by humans that were released into the wild can act friendly to their previous owners if they meet them. Look up Christian the Lion and your argument will just magically disappear. Here's an extra 10 sins! +10 37. "Oh lord, he's going to tranquadentally himself out of this, isn't he? I think they were going for tension here, but watching him flop on the ground is more like reliving Lego Batman's tantrum. Also... dude, even if the lava's not touching him , it's hot enough that Owen is literally toast right now." Only, it's not funny. Owen literally could have died there. He was trying to move his body parts away from the lava, and the filmmakers didn't want this to be funny at all. Also, even if lava is hot, Owen is far away enough to not get burned. +1 Animalman57: Also, Batman's tantrum was funny as hell, so..... +3 Animalman57: Also, lava isn't insta-kill. Look up lava collectors. +1 38. "This guy has INSTANTLY gained access to any system he's tried, but he can't override the doors?" This system must be new to Franklin Webb and he eventually managed to override the system (before inadvertently letting in a Baryonyx). +1 Animalman57: Also, he couldn't anyway cause the mercenaries removed the power cords that they plugged before to open the bunker, so he couldn't anyway. +1 39. "Or you could get back on that computer and keep trying to open those doors!" Franklin couldn't because A) there's a Baryonyx coming and B) those mercenaries disabled the power cords, rendering the computer dysfunctional. +1 40. "These guys seriosly didn't see this ladder the entire time?" They were focused on the Baryonyx, distracting them from the ladder. Also, I am just annoyed at how you expect the characters to just be perfect and instantly notice the ladder. Seriously, flaws like this are normal. +1 41. "Yep, they're about to survive all this." And if they don't survive this, the plot will be very different. Besides, there were some dinosaurs that might have died in the pyroclastic flow, so yeah. +1 42. "Of all the routes out of the jungle, Owen takes the EXACT path that leads to the facility? And syncs it up perfectly when they to escape? What are the odds? Seriously, WHAT ARE THE ODDS?!?!" I don't know, Owen just... did. What did you expect? Odds can be unpredictable, which leads to another scenario where Owen runs out of the jungle elsewhere, all the way to what happened onscreen. So yeah, the odds for this one is likely. +1 43. "Also, Owen is able to outrun ALL these dinosaurs, who are running at pretty much the same rate of speed, despite their size differences, and who are ALSO taking the same route as Owen." Again, it just did. Odds can be unpredictable. Also, this exact route is the only way the dinosaurs can escape the oncoming lava and pyroclastic flow, so yeah. Also no, these dinosaurs were not running at the same speed as Owen. +1 44. "I don't want to piss on effects departments too much, because they're typically overworked and underpaid. But seriously, man. Seriously." Like what? What do you mean by "seriously"? It's just a bunch of dinosaurs just ramming through a forest, running away from Mount Sibo. Also, the CGI in this scene is just fantastic and you know that. +1 45. "Why are they pausing right now? Just because they found a giant tree trunk? I thought the whole point of the last few minutes was to run!" They stopped at the tree trunk so that they can have temporary shelter and to wait for all of the dinosaurs to pass by so that they can run from the volcano without getting trampled. +1 46. "This dinosaur takes a break from escaping the exploding island to be a threat to the humans instead of just outright eating them." The Carnotaurus was trying to eat them. It did this so that it could have something to eat while it is escaping the volcano. +1 Animalma57: Also, two things. 1: it couldn't eat Claire and Franklin since they were already in the Gryosphere and it couldn't eat Owen right away since he hid behind it and 2. it thought the worse of the eurption was over. After all, during this moment, the worst that happened seemed to be forest fires, which they've probaly been used to by now. Only after Rexy roared after killing the Carno did the pyroclastic flow happen, where at that moment, no carnivore attacked anyone else for food. ''' 47. "Effing T. rex Machina. AGAIN. Like... DO SOMETHING NEW YOU FILMMAKERS!!" Only they are doing something new; a volcanic eruption, bringing new dinosaurs with a few that many people wanted for a long time (like Baryonyx, Carnotaurus, and even the Allosaurus), and even bringing another hybrid onto mainland! How is that not something new?! +1 48. "This has the dramatic tension of a Dora the Explorer episode, with less believability." Oh really? Is the cinematography hand drawn animated? Is the tone kid-friendly? Are any of the characters blurting "Oh no, we have to save the dinosaurs from the volcano! Will you help us? Great!"? Are literally any of the dinosaurs directly speaking human English to the characters? Hmm... the answer is; nah. +10 '''Animalman57: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! +15 Category:Blog posts